Therapy for Affairs and At-Risk Couples

Infidelity is one of the most stressful, damaging and painful experiences a couple can endure. This is also one of the most frequent reasons that couples seek marriage counseling. Affairs crack, or even shatter the very foundation that marriages are built upon, and the repair process can be incredibly difficult to navigate successfully. For some couples, an affair is an event that the marriage does not recover from. There are couples, however, that successfully repair the broken trust, and in time rebuild a relationship that is stronger than the one they started with.

Difficulties Unique to Infidelity

There are unique challenges that emerge following an affair that the couple must learn to navigate. The spouse that was not involved in the affair has all of their foundational assumptions about their relationship turned upside down. They find themselves experiencing symptoms similar to those experienced by trauma survivors, including disturbing imagery, sudden surges of emotional distress resulting from a triggering memory, sleep problems, anxiety and constant ruminative thoughts. The couple must learn new skills to help them manage the waves of emotion that follow in the months after an affair, including skillful use of empathy, validation and anger management techniques.

What We Provide

Therapists that help support a couple through the process of affair recovery play many roles in the therapy room. We are often coaches, helping teach and motivate the couple to develop communication skills. We act as mediators, helping provide a framework in which both people are able to voice their distress, and feel heard. We also act as an advocate for the marriage itself, encouraging the couple in the weeks where it feels especially difficult to manage the stress of the work.

Couples "At-Risk" for Marital Difficulty

Some couples have major stressors in their lives that put them at an increased risk for infidelity. Certain professions carry a higher rate of infidelity due to the amount of stress involved, and the high-drama work environment they are associated with. Couples also can find themselves at risk during major life transitions, such as family relocations, pregnancy, or a major change in work or family structure. It is during these times that we really hope to see couples begin to work on their foundational skills. As the saying goes, an ounce of prevention is worth (in this case) twenty tons of cure. Just as we use trainers, teachers and other professionals to help us prepare for major life transitions, couples should seek help in developing the skills that help them grow through stressful life developments.

Can We Make It?

YES!! Marriage Therapy at its core is hope. When a couple is determined to stay together, willing to be open, and ready for consistent work they can do amazing things. While not all couples are ready for this kind of commitment, those that are certainly have a change to rebuild, repair and strengthen the relationship they have. As painful as they are, these shattering experiences can be a catalyst for lasting change in some couples.

If you are interested in finding out more information about our marriage counseling to help you begin to rebuild, fill out our contact form, and have a therapist call and speak with you about it. We would be happy to discuss your circumstances over the phone, and explain how we think we can be helpful. You are also welcome to stop in and speak with a counselor face-to-face before deciding to start therapy. To get in touch and find out how we can help, click here.